Depression

无形中有一股压力，
压得我喘不过气来...真的很辛苦，很累...
心里很明白那是自己的问题，
可是真的不知道怎样去控制，怎样去克服...

对别人来说，每一天在上就是一个新的开始，一个开心的开始....
可是现在的我并不是那么想，
每一天比上眼睛的那一刻就是最开心的时刻，可是一到早上睁开眼睛，
第一个感觉就是害怕，只有害怕，害怕....

我现在是depression 吗？
psychology student 应该有这样的问题吗？
???

100 truths

001. Real name → Yap Ke Xin
002. Nickname(s)→Mushroom, Mushie, Babymushie(restrict to babyzhu), Soh Poh
004. Zodiac sign →Aquarius
005. Male or female → Female
006. Elementary → Tadika Church
007. Middle School → SJK(c) Gunung Rapat
008. High School->SMJK Ave Maria Convent Ipoh
009. College School --> UTAR
010. Hair color → Black.
011. Long or short → Short.
012. Loud or Quiet → Loud and quiet
013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
014. Phone or Camera → Phone.
015. Health freak → Nope
016. Drink or Smoke? → None
017. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes
018. Eat or Drink → Both.
019. Piercings → None.
020. Tattoos → None.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → None
024. First best friend → Ooi Chen
025. First award → Singing Competition
026. First crush → Primary school...i think...
027. First pet → None
028. First big vacation → Shanghai, China
030. First big birthday → 19 birthday

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → Nothing.
050. Drinking → Nothing.
052. I'm about to →Sleep
053. Listening to → Nothing
054. Plans for today →Study for my exam...still dare to blog here...
055. Waiting for → Tomorrow to pass

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → Yes, but not now...
059. Want to get married? → It depends.
060. Careers in mind →Counsellor, or a child psychologist.



WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?
068. Lips or eyes → Both
070. Shorter or taller? → Taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Both.
074. Sensitive or loud→ Sensitive.
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
076. Trouble maker or hesitant → Neither.

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Yes
081. Ran away from home → No.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → No
083. Killed somebody → No.
084. Broken someone's heart → Yes, i think...thats long time agoooo...
085. Been arrested → No.
087. Cried when someone died → hmhm...don't remember ald..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → Yes
090. Miracles → Yes
091. Love at first sight → NO
092. Heaven → Yes.
093. Santa Claus → NO.
094 Tooth Fairy--> NO.
095. Kiss on the first date -> NO.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yes, my babyzhu
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → Yes
099. Do you believe in God → Yes.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people→Pooi sie, Joel, Catherene, Cheah mann, Khang You, Cheeesy, calvin, Jing yi, lan lan, pikachu

一段感情的萌芽

原来亲眼看着一段感情萌芽， 是那么的欣慰....

一个星期前的她们还在纠缠不清，身边的人看了都在替他们心急...
现在回想起来，还真的不了解他们到底在等什么...
明明彼此就互相喜欢...但又没有勇气在一起...
当时的我看了，真的急死了!!!

还好，我的等待，终于有了结果...
庆幸的，是一个令人满意的结果...
眼看身边又多了一对情侣，心里的感觉，真的难以形容....
第一次看着两个人， 从相遇，相识，到后来相爱...

希望他们能够长长久久...加油哦!!!

心魔

开学了两个星期...
心里总是忐忑不安...
上每一堂课之前都很害怕...
到底我在害怕什么？？

后来才发现，原来我害怕说英语...
因为自己的英文本来就不好，一向来都不敢在别人面前说英语...
现在几乎每一堂课都得说英文，而且还是要站在全班人的面前说...
我很害怕...

最近加入了PHP，因为朋友加入了，所以自己也跟着加入....加上我真的很想学会一些 counselling skills...
后来才知道，每次meeting 都会有sharing( 我最害怕的)....
在meeting 的前一天，我把我的害怕告诉了朋友，她劝我要勇敢的面对才能克服心里障碍....
第二天到了meeting 的时候，我尽量放松心情，果然我真的没有那么害怕了，反而轻松了....
好开心哦!!!

以后我都会尽量去面对我的心魔，克服它!!!
加油!!!

A Day with my NS friends

I have not update my blog for about two weeks already as I did not have the mood to write anything...
Most important is I did not know what to post...
Keke...

Today I finally have a topic to post on...
06 june...
as what I usually do every saturday, I woke up and turned on my labtop then started my day with facebook...
I have been addicted to restaurant city and barn buddy for the past few weeks...

After my lunch, i thought of continued with my restaurant city and barn buddy, but my phone rang...
It was Chris, am NS friend from Perlis who i din meet for a long time...
He told me that he is in Ipoh and wanted to called me out for a drink...
so I went out and joined him and Sen Chong, another NS friend who stay in Ipoh too...
At first we went to Old Town kopitiem located in medan ipoh...
we spent about an hour there...
i found out that Chris wanted to see my friend Kar Yan so much...
so we decided to called Kar Yan out also...
but she was in pengkalan.... so far and she can't join us in ipoh garden...
at last we changed to the Old Town Kopitiem in pengkalan so that we can meet Kar Yan...

There, I met Kay Yan, my honey...damn miss her...!!!
is such a loooooon time I din meet her already...
after I left the camp, i just met her for once...
very happy to meet her today... we chat for about two hours there...
after that we left Old town for home...

Me and Honey Kar Yan

Me and Chris

不会磨灭的伤痕

打开已铺满灰尘的盒子...

翻着里面一样样精致的小礼物...

却发现里头差不多三分之二的东西背后都有着不开心的回忆...

这才了解，原来一直以来所收藏的...

都是那些不开心的回忆...

这个盒子...

每打开一次，心里就刺痛一次...

再仔细想一想...

为什么要把那些不开心的回忆收着呢？？？

倒不如把所有的东西都丢掉吧！！

东西丢掉，不开心的回忆也一起丢掉...

原本受伤的心也能自动复原...

那该有多好啊！！！

可是，

原来一切都不是所想象的...

东西可以丢掉，回忆可以删除...

但那伤口始终还会在...

就算痊愈了，也会留下疤痕...

一道深深的疤痕！！！

永远也消失不了...

老朋友

关在家里闷了几个星期，每天呆在家里除了吃和睡，就是对着电脑...
过去几个星期的晚上都是平平无奇的过，这几天晚上总算有一些乐趣..
前几天晚上（忘了哪一天..哈哈），像平常一样我都会开facebook的restaurant city, 然后摆在那儿不管它...
突然发现有人在facebook 发了信息给我...
因为平常我都不会在哪儿跟朋友聊天，所以没什么朋友会在facebook 发信息给我...
在好奇心的驱使下，我跑去看那人到底是谁...
一看，

HY ONG: yap ke xin, long time no see you ald, how r u nw??

wah...这个人是谁？？ 认错人吗？？
我根本不认识他啊！！
于是我就问清楚他到底是谁...
他要我猜他是谁，并给了我一些提示...
他给的提示再加上他的名字，我大概猜到他是谁...
可是由于我怕猜错了么没面子，又再问多一些提示...

HY ONG: we are classmates during primary skul...

这下我就更确定是他了...
真的很久没跟这位朋友联络了，大概有十年了吧！！！
自从三年级他跳班过后就很少跟他联络，后来是完全失去联络了...
真的很开心能在与他聊天...

Ong Hong Yao 王泓X（sry..my fren...中文名最后一个字在拼音里找不到）..
这位老朋友阿...
小的时候，老爱跟我唱反调...
由于我们从一年级到三年级担任的职位都是一样的（再加上大家的意见应该不一样吧..不晓得）...
所以我们总是看对方不顺眼...
从一，二年级当班长，到三年级的巡察团长，我们两个都刚巧是拍档，而且还每天‘互相残杀’...
可是，有的时候我们还能够像朋友一样玩在一块儿，真不晓得当时的我们到底是朋友还是对敌...Haha...
因为我们的妈妈都是老师，而且是同事，所以我们见面的机会比较多...
每天放学过后，我们一大群老师的儿女们都会聚在一起，玩在一块儿...
（好怀念那个时候，很开心)
如果没记错，当时我们应该也能算是好朋友吧...!!!haha...

不知不觉十年过去了，大家没联络这么多年了，可是一聊起天来一点也不觉得陌生...
跟他聊天的时候，好像回到了以前小学的时候...

谢谢他，让我能再回忆以前的每一件快乐的童年...
老朋友，希望以后能有机会真的面对面聊个痛快...(haha...他现在人在日本...)
也希望这位老朋友在日本一切安好咯！！（当然好，那么享受）...

Finally result is out!!!

Finally, the result came out 19th morning..
i felt relief once i got my result...
although i did not hit my target...
but the result was average...not good but not too bad also...
most importantly is...I CAN PROCEED TO DEGREE COURSE...
which means that i am no longer suffering for those subjects that i am not interested in...

PSYCHOLOGY...
I am coming...!!!

Congratulations to all my coursemates who are also proceeding to the degree...

1st Anniversary...

hmhm...

Spent the whole day with my bebe...
just celebrated our very first anniversary...
we went out for a movie 'angels and demons'...is quite nice...
spent a happy day with bebe although some tiny little problem happened...it does matter... I'm still very happy neh...keke...


One year already ler...so fast...
just seem like yesterday when i first knew bebe...
But thanks to my bebe for your love and caring...and also your thanks for tolerating to all my 'xiao jie pi qi'...
I love you...


Tired...sleep ler...
sweet dream...

感恩的故事

今天在网上看到了一则有意思的故事...一则关于感恩的故事:

____________________________________________

有一个女孩跟妈妈大吵了一架后，气得夺门而出，决定再也不回到那个讨厌的家了。一整天他都在外头闲逛着，肚子饿得咕噜咕噜叫，但由于刚才跟妈妈吵架是夺门而出，所以身上连一毛钱也没有，可是她又拉不下脸回家吃饭，只好饿着肚子了。

一直到了晚上，他来到了一家面摊旁，闻着那阵阵的面香味，小女孩真的很想吃一碗，可是口袋空空的也只能吞口水了。

突然，老板亲切地问：“你要不要吃面啊？”
小女孩不好意思的回答：“嗯！可是我没带钱...”
老板听了大笑说 ：“哈哈！没关系，今天就算老板请客！”

小女孩听了简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。她兴奋得坐下来。不一会老板碰了一碗面放到了桌上，小女孩吃得津津有味。
并说：“老板，您认真好！ 我们素不相识，您却对我那么好，不像我妈，根本不了解我的需要和想法，真气死人了！！！”

老板听了，脸上扬起了微笑说：“小妹妹，我才不过请你吃了一碗面而已，你就这么感激我，那么你的妈妈住了二十年的饭给你吃，你不是更感激她吗？”
听老板这么一说，小女孩顿时如梦初醒，面也没吃完就立刻飞奔回家了。

才到家门前的小巷，就远远的看到妈妈，焦急地在门口东张西望。看到这情形，小女孩心里有一千句，一万句对不起想跟妈妈说。她走上前去，还没来得及开口，只见妈妈已仰了上前：“哎哟，你一整天跑到哪里去了，吓死我了！来，近来把手洗一洗，该吃晚餐了。”

这一天晚上，小女孩才真正的体会到妈妈对她的爱。

____________________________________________

太阳和月亮，那一个比较重要？
我们通常都会回答月亮吧...因为月亮在晚上，把黑暗的大地照亮，它的功劳远远超出了太阳。而太阳虽然会发光，但它在白天出现。白天已经够亮了，那它的出现不就是多余的吗？

仔细想想吧！！

其实没有了太阳，世界是一片黑暗的。只是太阳一直都在，所以人们就忘了它的光亮。这也跟亲人一样。因为他们一直都在你的身边，所以你们也忘了他们的温暖。

每天照顾你的人，你就觉得没什么； 若陌生人这样对你，你就认为他是好人；你家人的付出，你总觉得理所当然，甚至还会嫌；一旦外人对你做出类似行为，你就受宠若惊，感激不已。

人往往就是这样....不是吗？？？

常常带有一颗感恩的心，
人也会快了一些